from Jejaka Anggun to Tok Ti with luv...

first of all, aku nak ucapkan congrats (bkn congrates yer, congrats) kpd Tok Ti yg dah pun berjaya mengeluarkan album ingrish pertama beliau yg berjudul All Your Love.

dia penah debut lagu baru nih dlm anugerah planet ari tuh. first time dengar, oklah catchy gak lagu dia. tp masa tuh aku x leh terima dia nyer slang ingrish yg terlampau berbelit kat huruf R. aku rasa ini masalah normal bagi org melayu (especially yg bahasa ingrish nyer ala kadar) sebab bile nak ckp mesti huruf R tuh nak kene belit2kan lidah. konon nak tiru omputeh tp x sedar dah bunyik cam org filipino. sian.



anyway, tadi aku terdengar yg recorded version punyer n aku mcm bole layan plak. ok jer plak pronounciation dia bile nyanyi. but yer lah kan sah2 lah recorded, mesti banyak kali kene ulang n aku rasa lagu nih pun bole jadik lagu clubbing, especially kat la queen. ko bayangkan, sedangkan lagu nirmala dgn wasini bole buat hadek2 dlm tuh ilang ingatan, apatah lagilah lagu nih kan? mau x gegak gempita satu dunia? hahah!

eh, korang mesti tanya gile ker apa aku nak citer pasal Tok Ti plak dlm entry kali nih kan?



haha. actually, ada Mek Jah kat ofis aku nih tunjuk kat aku komen2 org pasal Tok Ti dlm blog beautifulnara. majoritinyer mengutuk jer lebih. aku nih xder lah minat pun kat pompuan nih tapi xder lah melaha dia yg bukan2. mcm ada org tuh kutuk dia mcm yahudilah, sia2 jer gi mekah lah, itu lah, ini lah....

lah, apa yg dia nak buat tuh suka ati dialah, dia xder pun susahkan idup korang rasanya kan?

pastuh ada jugak yg kutuk baju yg dia pakai.

yg nih mmg aku setujulah. aku rasa utk kebaikan dia jugak kot. ko tgk jer lah pic kat bawah. korang rasa cantik ker dia pakai topi mcm nih? kalo ada rambut kepuk2 kan lebih sesuai pakai topi mcm nih, nih dah mcm botak plak kan?




so utk Tok Ti, nih i nak pesan kat u sket.

i rasa u dah cukup kaya utk upah org yg betul2 bole take care u punyer wardrobe. org yg selama nih jaga baju/fesyen u (kalo ada), sila pecat cuz dia tidak menjalankan tugas dgn betul. u kata u nak go international, so kalo u dress up ala2 jahitan kak yam pudu walaupun baju u tuh actually jenama Badgley Mischka, org akan tetap cop u sebagai pompuan kampung. awas ya.

lagi satu, omputeh kata "practice makes perfect". so pedulikan hinaan org terhadap bahasa ingrish u yg berslanga lipis tuh. dulu ada sorg penyanyi latin nama Selena, dia nih haram x tau bahasa Spanish. setakat nyanyi jer reti tapi bila org interview in spanish, dia reply in english sajork. tapi dia laku kat Mexico, dik. menang award, lagu tip top, n dia blaja sket2 utk master kan bhs spanish supaya diction n pronounciation nampak x dibuat2 ketika menyanyi.



so moral of the story, kalo org lain bole, u pun bole. lagipun u kan pompuan kaya. u mampu upah org british council ajar bahasa ingrish kat umah... kalo rasa2 level british council tuh x berapa nak mampu, upah cikgu dr kumon pun ok gak. beginner level.

or susah2 upah i jer... i leh tlg ajarkan anak tiri u nih skalik. sambil2...

eh. terlebih sudah.

An Idiots Guide To Marketing

aku dapat email nih kat ofis. aku harap nama2 yg dipetik di bawah tidak murka dan sumbatkan aku ke dlm ISA. heheh. apa2pun, kalo aku hilang x update2 new entry tuh, korang faham2 jer lah apa yg dah jadik oke...




Samy Vellu sees a gorgeous girl at a party.
He goes up to her and says: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.

Mukhriz sees a gorgeous girl at a party.
One of his loyal UMNO friends goes up to her and pointing
At Mukhriz and says: "He's very rich. Marry him!"
That's Advertising.

Khir Toyo sees a gorgeous girl at a party.
He goes up to her and gets her telephone number.
The next day, he calls and says: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me!"
That's Telemarketing.

Khairy is at a party and sees a gorgeous girl.
He gets up and straightens his tie, walks up to her and pours her a
drink, he opens the door (of the car) for her, picks up her bag after
she drops it, offers her ride and then says: "By the way, I'm rich.
Will you Marry Me?"
That's Public Relations.

Razak Baginda is at a party and sees a gorgeous girl.
The girl walks up to him and says:
"You are very rich! Can you marry me?"
That's Brand Recognition.

Syed Hamid sees a gorgeous girl at a party.
He goes up to her and says: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
She gives Hamid a tight slap on his face.
That's Customer Feedback.

Not satisfied, Hamid goes to see another gorgeous girl at a party.
He goes up to her and says: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
And she introduces Hamid to her husband.
That's Demand and Supply gap.

Abdullah sees a gorgeous girl at a party.
He goes up to her and before he can say anything,
another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
And she goes with him.
That's competition eating into your market share.

And finally Najib sees a gorgeous girl at a party.
He goes up to her and before he can say: "I'm rich, Marry me!"
Rosmah arrives!
That's restriction from entering a new market.



so skang korang dah faham dgn teknik berniaga dan pemasaran dgn betul??? kalo dah, baca artikel kat bawah nih plak....





ps: masih terkial-kial cam org buduh taip guna laptop baru nih... ;p

Kougar diikitiraf... alhamdulillah.

entry nih bertujuan utk mengucapkan terima kasih kpd semua yg telah berjaya membuatkan KOUGAR meraih anugerah Bakat Muda Selangor 2011 bagi kategori cerpen/novel BM pada malam sabtu lepas. ia terlalu panjang so feel free utk buat kerja lain yg lebih berfaedah dulu.



first n foremost, terima kasih kpd Allah swt yg telah memberikan aku mata, telinga, mulut, tangan, kaki dan otak untuk terus hidup dan berkarya. novel nih asalnya hanya ditulis sekadar main2. aku boring2 dlm tren, x tau nak buat apa so aku amik phone n mula taip perlahan2... sikit demi sikit... tau2 lengkap satu cerita. segala perjalanan cerita yg berlaku dlm tren adalah apa yg aku nampak di depan mata sendiri. watak, karekter, percakapan, semua yg berlaku, terjadi di sekeliling. ada yg diubah. ada juga yg dikekalkan. maaf kalo ada isi dan inti cerita ini yang menyakiti hati mana-mana pihak tetapi aku percaya hidup tidak seharusnya menjadi hipokrit. ada masa kita menangis di kala orang lain sedang bergembira. itu lumrah.

2nd, terima kasih banyak2 kepada penerbit Fixi sendiri, iaitu saudara Amir Muhammad. dia banyak memberi idea dan membuka peluang untuk aku menjadi penulis yang baik. novel kedua bersama Fixi, judulnya Tabu (eng. Taboo) insyaallah akan menyusul November ini dan aku percaya jika Allah masih mengurniakan bakat dan rezeki kpd kami berdua maka kami akan terus bekerjasama sampai novel yg ke 2 juta. insyaallah. sebelum Kougar, aku ada hantar cerpen berjudul Milah utk Body2Body and novel Pucuk utk Fixi and dua2 kene reject. so, kpd penulis baru jgn give up menulis atau hasilkan karya yg bagus. rezeki itu ada. cepat atau lambat itu urusan tuhan...


*aku bersama penulis baru Fixi, Dayang Noor. novelnya Jerat sedang berada di pasaran sekarang. sila dapatkan yg original. yg terselit di belakang itu ialah Gina, penulis novel Ngeri n abang hensem berbadan kekar itu ialah Saharil, penulis novel Kentang dan Tentang. sila follow blog saharil Conteng dia. gile kiut.

3rd, kepada family n kenalan rapat. mak especially. watak Mak dlm novel ini serba sedikit bersangkut paut juga dgn dia. mak memang kuat berleter. mulut dia x habis2 dgn cerita2 dan komplen. aku tahu nanti akupun akan jadi tua macam dia sebab akupun banyak komplen. so, sebelum org tulis pasal aku, better aku yg tulis pasal mak dulu. heheh. kawan2 pun begitu. kalo rasa2 nak cerita ko dlm kelambu ditulis dlm buku, terus2kanlah gossip2 pasal laki or boyfren korang dgn aku. ;p

4th, kepada rakan2 n pembaca yg menyokong. aku mula menulis ketika berusia 16 tahun. masa tuh aku habiskan kertas kajang (note pad) kat sekolah utk menulis bila ada jer masa yg terluang. aku dah lupa apa cerpen/novella aku yg pertama but dari review classmates yg membaca, aku tahu yang aku memang ada bakat. then lepas sekolah, aku stop menulis terus. aku concentrate dgn kerja hinggalah tahun 2005 bila aku start kerja dgn publisher, aku banyak didedahkan dgn novel2 fiction n non fiction seluruh dunia. aku lebih sukakan buku berbentuk memoir n first buku yg aku beli waktu tuh ialah Slave dr Mende Nazir. aku tertarik utk membaca jln hidup seseorang. bagaimana payah dorang nak jalani hidup utk jadi seperti org lain or better dr orang lain. sebab tuh novel aku, aku lebih gemar fokuskan kpd satu watak. biar ia dtg dr sudut pandangan individu atau narrator cerita itu sendiri. yg lain, aku kekalkan jd pertanyaan n andaian pembaca. pembaca skang dah bijak, kan?

5th, kpd akademi SEYTA (Selangor Young Talents' Award) sendiri yg mengiktiraf karya ulung aku ni. insyaallah, kalo ada rezeki, next year aku akan submit utk next novel plak. masa Diana Rafar umum yg dia dengar novel yg bakal menang award nih hebat n dia teringin nak baca, aku mcm dah agak dah yg dia akan sebut nama Kougar. heheh. terharu....



last but not least, kpd semua pembaca yg memuji, mengeji, mengutuk, yg x faham ending dia, yg sukakan ending dia, yg kata cerita nih pasal hidup dia, yg nak cerita nih dijadikan movie, yg bayangkan aku akan jadi setaraf JK Rowling, yg kata x minat nak habiskan baca sebab boring, yg komplen kenapa cerita aku x cukup sastera, dan yg kata aku sangat anggun dan layak menjadi model antarabangsa (ok, aku tipu)... well, aku sgt2 hargai ulasan kalian n aku kira sudah tiba masanya utk aku terus serius menulis.

terima kasih, assalamualaikum dan lihatlah dunia!



ps: bila aku habis type text ucapan nih, aku dah dapat membayangkan yg muzik dah lama berkumandang sampai ada security naik atas stage tarik aku turun.... hahaha.

doakan kejayaan KOUGAR

good news you all.

KOUGAR telah tercalon dlm senarai akhir finalis (utk kategori cerpen/novel BM) in Selangor Young Talents' Award (SEYTA) 2011 yg akan diadakan di Dewan Auditorium MBSA Shah Alam, sabtu nih. sexcited tak???

pada sesiapa yg free n nak sama memeriahkan majlis, sila hubungi Cik Manzumi Bt Mohamed di Sekretariat Belia Negeri Selangor (03-5511 7005) utk mendapatkan tiket. tiket x sure free ker x. freelah kot?

ramai juga retis yg terlibat masa mlm tuh nnt. antaranya spt Meet Uncle Hussain, Shila Hamzah, Najwa Latiff, Fresco Harmonica, Irama Nuansa dan Geng Wak Long. tapi korg jgn tanya aku saper dorg nih semua. aku kenal Meet Uncle Hussain jer kot? itupun penyanyi yg lama, si Lan tuh. yg baru, siapa ntah penyanyi dia. ahaks

anyway, sila doa2kan si jejaka anggun nih menang ok. tengah berdebar2 nih.

*for more information, pls refer to this link: http://gen-s.com.my/sbns/index.php





ps: tengah practice muke terkejut pastu nangis ala2 halle berry

OMG!!!!

aku baca artikel nih dlm Daily Mail trus aku rasa terharu. nasib baik muke budak nih x kendu sangat, kalo x sah2 aku dah amik jadik angkat mcm Angelina Jolie.

budak nih nama dia Tha Sophat. bukan Ter Sepit. baca betul2, Tha Sopat. dia baru 18 bulan. atuk dia kata dia buat prangai isap nenen lembu nih since July lepas parents dia larikan diri dr Cambodia ke Thailand. sian ek?

yg penting, jiran2 dah bising. dorang kata budak nih fetish tek lembu tp nak buat caner, atuk dia kata, dia dah cube tarik tp budak tuh nangis. so diapun biarkan jer lah. janji budak tuh x kaco idup org.

hmmm... tersedak aku sekejap. aku rasa si atuk nih pemal2 + seng2 ubs (pemalas + sengal2 ubi) sebenarnya. kalo dah ko tarik budak tuh pastuh ko biar dia x makan/minum, sah2lah dia merentan, kan? cube letak susu tuh dlm botol ker, mangkuk ker, mesti budak tuh reti minum. kalo buatnyer lembu tuh tendang budak nih? x ker jadik mendiang?

ataupun memang atuk nih saja nak cucu dia membesar jadik lembu?





ps: kpd adik2 yg amik UPSR esok, selamat amik exam. kalo x dapat 5A, xper. UPSR jer kot...

No Admission to Heaven

bab 7 dalam buku The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad yg sedang cube dihabiskan sekarang. sila baca dan renung2kan...



When the Taliban rolled into Kabul in September 1996, sixteen decrees were broadcast on Radio Sharia. A new era had begun.


1. Prohibition against female exposure

It is prohibited for drivers to pick up women not wearing the burka, on pain of arrest. If such women are observed out on the streets, their homes will be visited and their husbands punished. If the women were inciting or attractive clothes, ans they have no close male relative with them, the driver must not let them into the car.

2. Prohibition against music

Cassettes and music are forbidden in shops, hotels, vehicles, and rickshaws. If a music cassette is found in a shop, the owner will be imprisioned and the shop closed. If a cassette is found in a vehicle, the vehicle will be impounded and the driver imprisioned.

3. Prohibition against shaving

Anyone who has shaved off or cut his beard will be imprisioned until the beard has grown to the lenght of a clenched fist.

4. Mandatory prayer

Prayer will be observed at fixed times in all districts. The exact time will be announced by the minister for the promotion of virtue and the exterminations of sin. All transport must cease fifteen minutes before the time of prayer. It is obligatory to go to the mosque during the time of prayer. Any young men seen in shops will automatically be imprisioned.

5. Prohibition against the rearing of pigeons and bird fighting

This hobby will cease. Pigeons used for the purpose of games or fights will be killed.

6. Eradication of narcotics and the users thereof

Abusers of narcotics will be imprisioned, and investigations will be instigated to flush out dealer and shop. The shop will be closed and both criminals, user and owner, will be imprisioned and punished.

7. Prohibition against kite flying

Kite flying has wicked consequences, such as gambling, death among children, and truancy. Shops selling kites will be removed.

8. Prohibition against reproduction of pictures

In vehicles, shops, houses, hotels, and other places, pictures and portraits must be removed. Proprietors must destroy all pictures in the above-mentioned places. Vehicles with pictures of living creatures will be stopped.

9. Prohibition against gambling

Centers of gambling will be flushed out and the gamblers will be imprisioned for one month.

10. Prohibition against British and American hairstyles

Men with long hair will be arrested and taken to the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Extermination of Sin to have their hair cut. The criminal will pay the barber.

11. Prohibition against interests on loans, exchange charges, and charges on transactions.

The above three type of money changing are forbidden by Islam. If the rules are broken, the criminal will be imprisioned for a lenghty period.

12. Prohibition against the washing of clothes by river embankments

Women who break this law will be respectfully picked up in the manner of Islam and taken to their houses, and their husbands will be severely punished.

13. Prohibition against music and dancing at weddings

If this prohibition is broken, the head of the family will be arrested and punished.

14. Prohibition against playing drums

The religious oligarchy will decide the appropriate punishment for anyone caught playing drums.

15. Prohibition against tailors sewing women´s clothes or taking measurements of women

If fashion magazines are found in the shop, the tailor will be imprisioned.

16. Prohibition against witchcraft

All books dealing with the subject will be burned and the magicians will be imprisioned until they repent.


In addition to the above sixteen decrees, a separate appeal, aimed at Kabul´s women, was broadcast:

"Women, you must not leave your homes. If you do, you must not be like those women who wore fashionable clothes and makeup and exposed themselves to every man, before Islam came to the country. Islam is a religion of deliverance and it has decided that a certain dignity belongs to women. Women must not make it possible to attract the attention of evil people who look lustfully upon them. A woman´s responsability is to bring up and gather her family together and attend food and clothes. If women need to leave the house, they must cover themselves up according to the law of Sharia. If women dress fashionably, wear ornamented, tight, seductive clothes to show off, they will be damned by the Islam Sharia and can never expect to go to heaven. They will be threatened, investigated, and severely punished by the religious police, as will the head of the family. The religious police have a duty and responsability to combat these social problems and will continue their efforts until this evil is uprooted."

Allahu akhbar (God is great).


*ustazah pilihan? imam muda? apa kata anda? mampu????


ps: doakan agar novel aku yg seterusnya berjudul Tabu (eng. Taboo) berada di pasaran November nih... amin.

jejaka anggun beraya di desa.

**entry kali nih panjang lebar sebab dah lama x update...




1. balik kampung on saturday, naik kereta kakak aku ikut highway LEKAS sampai trus ker Kuala Pilah. memang lekas betul perjalanan kami cuz dr cheras ker pilah, kitorg just amik masa less than 2 jam jer. tips: kitorg gerak awal pagi, pukul 8am dr sini. cube aku gerak kul 1pm. sah2 aku rasa mcm drive ker penang lamanya....

2. dlm kereta bawak Chomey, kucing Mak aku. aku x tau kenapa Mak aku gigih nak bawak dia balik sana. !st time dia travel jauh2 dlm keta. alasan Mak, kononnya sebab dia takut kucing tuh x leh survive stay sensorg kat umah nanti. takut dia kuar menjalang ngan kucing jalanan yg lain pastuh kene penyakit kelamin. hahah. last2 bukak jer pintu keta, dia trus lari masuk utan... or maybe dia balik umah ketua kampung, tuan dia masa baby dulu. *sehingga ke hari entry nih ditulis, Chomey masih lagi hilang tanpa kabar berita... sian.



3. umah kampung aku terpencil ngan dunia luar. kereta x leh masuk. kene jalan kaki dlm 5 minit, lalu semak samun n sawah dr tempat parking (laman umah org) utk sampai ke pintu pagar. phone line mmg xder. mmg bukan wilayah celcom. nak carik line, kene kuar cari langit... kalo x mmg haram nak dpt connection. internet x usah nak mimpi. kene pergi pekan Pilah baru clear, kalo ko gigih jugak antar BBM, sah2 dah mlm baru org tuh dpt message ko... sedih?

4. lampu jln pun xder. kalo nak blah dr situ or nak dtg situ, baik blah/dtg sebelum maghrib. kalo x confirm2 peluang ko utk bertemu makhluk asing baik di darat mahupun yg berterbangan di angkasa sangat luas. aku dah encounter satu scene misteri nusantara kat umah tuh 2-3 thn lepas, luckily thn nih semuanya behave. alhamdulillah.

5. tv plak mmg taraf 90an. dgn xder aerial, astro pun xder, so yg dpt ditonton dgn jelas cuma TV2 n TV3 sahaja. kadang2 TV1. itupun ikut mood. kalo dia rasa nak clear, dia clear lah. kalo x, haram. pasang dvd plak, kaler tetibe hilang ikut kesesuaian majlis. sekejap filem yg ko tgk tuh warna warni, tetibe 5 min kemudian, itam putih. sungguh klasik.

6. visit kubur arwah ayah n nenek. sian kubur nenek aku, nama dia dah ilang kat batu nisan. nampak sgt dia dah lama pergi. nasib baik aku reti baca tulisan jawi kalo x sah2 jadik citer kassim selamat masa aku sibuk baca doa kat kubur dia....



7. aku sambung tulis story yg ketiga. tajuknya GEGiRL (maybe akan ditukar) - pasal kisah cinta tiga empat segi di antara abg photographer, Kisha n Bibi. kalo nak tau siapa Bibi, kene tunggu novel Bibi kuar dulu. harinih ada date dgn bos Fixi. kitorg nak berdiskusi pasal novel nih. korang doa2kan lah ada rezki novel nih dibukukan n kuar ujung thn nih, oke?

8. aku jugak abiskan masa dgn baca buku The Bookseller of Kabul tulisan Norwegian journalist, Åsne Seierstad. buku nih pasal pasal kisah hidup org2 Afghan. fully recommended pada org yg terlalu taksub pasal dunia keislaman nih. aku paling suke chapter pasal undang2 taliban. wonderin what will happen kalo undang2 tuh digunapakai kat sini. confirm, aku migrate.



9. hmmm apa lagi? oh yer, aku layan anak2 buah aku main terup. main donkey guna kad Joker, main susun, main 21, main tipu, mcm2 lagilah permainan terup yg aku penah blaja ngan kaki judi yg ada kat malaya nih... so aku harap mereka xkan jadik penjudi profesional mcm uncle dia biler dah besar nnt.

10. last but not least, aktiviti yg paling utama masa aku kat kampung ialah makan makan n makan lagi..... mak aku buat ketupat n rendang kerbau. ada ker rendang kerbau kat KL? x, kan? tuh yg aku mencekik jer x sudah2 tuh.... hasilnya sendirik mau ingat....



ha, itulah saja yer adik2 semua aktiviti kakak kat kampung. ala2 nicole ritchie dlm simple life sangat kan? meriah x????



**speaking abt ketua kampung, anak ketua kampung aku tuh dulu penah kawin ngan artis. ko mampu??? dia nih kembar. muke pun not bad, kire hero desalah masa zaman aku gi ngaji2 dulu ngan dia... tp kan jodoh dia ngan artis tuh x panjang, kejap jer dorang kawin.

skang nih aku x sure plak yg si anak ketua kampung nih dah kawin lain ke belom tp yg penting ex wife dia tuh mmg dah kahwin lain dah. dia kawin pun ngan kembar jugak.

ha.. soklan kuiz minggu nih, cer teka siapakah artis tersebut?